How does our experience in our childhood car show up in our adult relationships? Ellen and Tolly explore this question in depth through a fascinating look at 3 examples Ellen shares from her work as a therapist. Although the client experiences are composites and all names have been changed, these examples bring the car metaphor to life in vibrant, relatable, and fascinating ways.
Through stories created through a composite of real-life scenarios, Ellen shares three examples of how her client's childhood cars have dramatically affected their adult relationships. (All names have been changed.)
First, Ellen and Tolly discuss "Todd's" experience growing up in a chaotic car and how that experience led him to create a very different car when he married and had children. We hear how the coping mechanisms he learned to get his needs met in his childhood continued to manifest in his marriage and relationships and how his new "controlled car" ended in tragedy. Ellen shares how she's been able to work with Todd to heal, beginning with his family of origin wounds and unmet needs.
Next, Ellen shares about "Leslie," her experience growing up in a perfect car, and the painful struggles she endured trying to live up to perfection. We learn about how this drive for perfection trickled down to Leslie's children and how it continues to manifest as anxiety in Leslie's life. Ellen talks about how she is able to support Leslie through therapy to help her give herself permission to be imperfect and to take good care of herself.
Finally, Tolly and Ellen discuss a "real car" experience through the story of "Jeff and Lisa." We hear about the messiness, trials, and fulfillment of family life in a real car. Ellen shares how even though the real car is a healthy, supportive environment, family members can still find themselves in need of extra support and encouragement when the trials of life become discouraging.
The car metaphor truly comes to life through these stories, so join us on our journey!